More behavioural and brain based studies are showing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) could be more important to the IQ ensuring the success of your relationships, career, and general happiness. EQ is about:
- Understanding yourself (self awareness)
- Controlling your emotions (self regulation)
- Your self motivation
- How best you understand people around you (empathy)
- Coping with other’s emotions (social skills)
At a point in our lives, we may struggle, with our relationship and ourselves so here are some few tips to help you work on your very own emotional processing.
- Be In Acceptance With Your Feelings
Come to the realization that you are giving it all your the best at that particular time. Avoid giving yourself a hard time regarding your feelings, there are ways you can change how you feel if they are negative.
- Take Heed To The Message
Your emotions are there to help you, ask yourself what your emotion is trying to tell you.
Be responsible for these feelings. You can hence divert your attitude from why you are feeling that way, to what you have to do to change the way you feel?
Give yourself time to relax each day. Find somewhere quiet and comfortable (this could even be in your car!), and close your eyes. Just start by noticing your breathing. You may want to start to slow your breathing, one way of doing this is breathing in through your nose for the count of 7 and out through your mouth for the count of 11. And just let your thoughts wander.
- Be Positive And Deal With Negative Self Talk
You don’t have to believe every thought that comes into your own mind! Always be positive despite of any negative situation.
- Always Opt for What You Desire!
It is not easy to be motivated towards goals that another person has chosen for you. Today’s neuroscience clearly indicates to us that simply by fixing your mind on what you truly want enables it to happen. So ask yourself what do you really value in life, what do you want more of, where do you want to live, what are you passionate about? what sort of person do you want to be?
- Pay Attention To Peoples ‘Non Verbal’ Cues
Paying more conscious attention to nonverbal cues that people put across can help you improve this skill. A few interesting ones to get you started include:
Notice how quickly someone is breathing
Which way are their feet pointing! (at you, or at the door!?)
- Take Note of How You Respond Emotionally
We can acquire “someone’s feelings.” Pay attention to this particular feeling, what is it telling you about them, or how they are feeling?
- Allow Other People To Have Their Own Emotions
Moving on from point 1. -0ther people have a right to feel however they do. Avoid judging or trying to avert their emotions. Realizing that each person is giving their best at whatever they are doing at a particular time helps you to create good relationships.
- Create ‘rapport’
This means being on the same ‘wave length’ as someone. And you can help this process along by getting in sync with the person. The simple way of doing this is thinking ‘this person has motor driving them, what speed is it running at?’. Match the speed with your talking and body movements. At a very subconscious level this allows the other person to relax as they recognise that you ‘get them’!
These are just a few of the things you can do to work on the different aspects of emotional intelligence processing. Pick one point a day and just take a few moments to remember and notice it- it can be good fun, and very effective too!