![]() |
Time heals ... or does it? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Looking towards or looking away |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Click below to link to:
How far do these rather simple and tangible phobic objects equate to the complex and rather subtle emotional situations that occur in everyday life? After a lover's quarrel, for instance, will the lovers process the hurtful words and events better if they distract their mind with a crossword puzzle or think over the quarrel? There is another dimension. There are different ways of thinking over an event. A constructive facing of a painful event might involve thinking it through, trying to puzzle out why it happened or talking to a friend, then moving to other activities. A destructive facing of the event might involve endlessly replaying the scene over in ones mind for weeks with no attempt to understand or resolve it or work it out with a friend. Rime, Philipott, Finkenauer, Ligast, Moorkens & Tornqvist (1995) got subjects to 'over-rehearse' the most emotional event of the previous day, thinking and talking about it every evening for three consecutive weeks. When the topic was discussed sometime later, it was still emotionally disruptive, showing a sort of sensitization effect rather than having aided the processing of the event. This 'goldilocks and the three bears' account of how much we should attend to emotional hurt - not too much, not too little but just the right amount - may be too simplistic. There may also be a question of timing. The research on bereavement suggests phases of emotional reaction involving numbing, disbelief, anger and later resolution of the loss. Making sense of the bereavement or talking to others may be counterproductive at an early stage but productive at the right stage. Apart from timing, the intensity of the trauma may be a crucial element. For instance, the role of distraction or attending to the emotional event may be entirely different after a rape experience than after a quarrel. It may also vary between emotions, so that distraction after a life threatening terrifying event may be different from distraction after the death of a spouse.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Dorset
RDSU |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||
© Dorset RDSU 2003