Emotional Expression

It is a commonly held belief that men and women treat their emotions in different ways. Men are thought of as less emotional than women and more inclined to use logic and reason when dealing with daily stresses. However, a growing body of research has demonstrated that it is not quite this simple. Fischer (2000) proposed that stereotypes about individual emotions are gender-specific. The emotions of happiness, sadness and fear are believed to be more characteristic of women, whereas anger has been found to be more characteristic of men (Birnbaum, Nosanchuk & Croll, 1980; Briton & Hall, 1995; Fabes & Martin, 1991; Grossman & Wood, 1993; Kelly & Hutson-Comeaux, 1999).

Numerous studies have shown males to be characteristically different from females, in their emotional expression (Wood, 1997; Brody & Hall, 1993; MacGeorge, 2003). The exact role of biology is unclear, however; differences between males and females appear to be magnified by a culture, which supports emotional development for girls and discourages it for boys. As for emotional experience, current findings suggest similarities between men and women’s reported underlying emotional experience (Averill, 1982; Fischer, 1993). Research examining the relationship between emotional expression and experience in men and women, has illustrated gender differences in expressiveness but not in experience (Lanzetta, Cartwright-Smith, & Kleck, 1976; Kring & Gordon, 1998). Therefore, Hutson-Comeaux and Kelly (2002) concluded that the dimension of emotional expression, rather than experience, may be an area in which women's and men's emotionality is differentially evaluated. So, when it comes to emotional processing, are there really differences between the sexes?

There is some evidence to support the idea that men prefer a problem-focused, rather than emotion-focused approach to stressful situations they encounter (Ptacek, Smith & Dodge, 1984; Ben-Zur & Zeidner, 1996; Twenge, 1997). Research also suggests that men express less anxious and depressed feelings than women do (Allen & Haccoun, 1976; Dosser, Balswick & Halverson, 1983; Brody & Hall, 1993). Hall (1987) proposed that differences highlighted in 1982 by Maltz and Borker, in peer playing patterns between girls and boys, foster different emotional skills. Girls tend to become more adept at reading both verbal and nonverbal emotional signals of others, at expressing and communicating their own feelings, and at minimizing anger. On the other hand, boys appear adept at maximising their hostility and anger, and at minimizing emotions to do with vulnerability, guilt, fear and hurt. In keeping with the popular idea then, it seems men are to some extent, less in tune with their emotions and less likely to express their emotions, than women. Perhaps it is the stereotypes of differing gender roles that men and women play in this culture, which influence these variations. So, how can we account for these differences?

Men and stoicism

Kindlon and Thompson (2000) used the analogy that boys approach their emotions with an awkwardness, similar to approaching a huge, leathery brown Naugahyde chair… alternately sinking into the depths or sitting stiffly on the edge of feelings that threaten to overwhelm them. They believe that troubled boys share a disturbing theme of emotional ignorance and isolation, claiming that boys are unversed in the subtleties of emotional language and expression. As well as being threatened by emotional complexity. They propose that whilst boys long for connection, they also feel the desire for autonomy, thus opening up an emotional struggle.

“A Young man is so strong, so mad, so certain, and so lost.

He has everything and he is able to use nothing”.

(Thomas Wolfe, Of Time and The River)

Regardless of age, boys tend to be ill-prepared for the challenges along the way to becoming an emotionally healthy adult. Stereotypes of masculinity and toughness deny a boy his emotions and prevent him from fully developing a full range of emotional resources. Hence, boys are left to manage conflict, adversity and change in his life with a limited emotional repertoire. Certainly in western culture at least, the idea of “being a man” has meant aspiring to certain characteristics. The core features of which are well summarised in Jansz (2000): [Link to Jereon Jansz’s website: http://users.fmg.uva.nl/jjansz/index.html ]

Autonomy ~ with a “stiff upper lip” a man stands alone to face the trials of life

Achievement ~ a man should be a high achiever to provide support for his family

Aggression ~ if the situation dictates a man should be tough and be able to act aggressively

Stoicism ~ a man does not share his feelings, grieve openly and he avoids strong feelings

In 1995, a study was conducted by Wagstaff and Rowledge, which examined the differences between men and women on measures of stoicism. They defined stoicism as having three main characteristics:

1) lacking in emotional involvement

2) lacking in emotional expression

3) exercising emotional control or endurance

Results from their research indicated that men scored significantly higher than women on stoicism. Men were also found to have significantly weaker reactions to emotive stories, than women. Thus confirming evidence, which suggests women in Western countries score higher than men on measures of emotional intensity and expressiveness (Diener, Sandvick & Larsen, 1985; Dosser, Balswick & Halverson, 1983). If an essential part of what it means to ‘be a man’ is having a stoical nature, then it is perhaps not surprising that we see some differences in emotional processing between genders. This male style of emotional processing has been termed ‘restrictive emotionality’, by Levant (1995).

Are there sex differences in crying?

For children, crying is a means of expression, since their ability to express themselves verbally is limited (Eun-pyo, 2002). However, adults cry as well. They cry as a direct response from the heart and as a way of manipulating others’ emotions. The literature on crying, although still relatively small, provides some evidence for sex differences. It appears that women have a greater propensity to cry (Lombardo, Crester, Lombardo & Mathis, 1983; Williams & Morris, 1996), cry more often (Frey 1983; Ross & Mirowsky, 1984; Williams & Morris, 1996) and also experience more intense crying (Bindra, 1972; Williams, 1982; Lombardo, Crester, Lombardo & Mathis 1983; Williams and Morris, 1996) than their male counterparts. Michael Gurian (2003) proposed that, on average, women’s tear glands are 60% larger than men’s. One evolutionary explanation for male and female differences in crying (Pease & Pease, 2002) is that if a man demonstrates emotions around other men, they would appear weak and become an easy target for others to attack him. Thus, men are rarely seen crying in public. On the contrary, women showing emotion to others, particularly other women, is seen as a sign of trust. A number of evolutionary explanations have been suggested for crying.
(Link to Chapter Tears - Purposeless or Adaptive?)
(Darwin, 1872 ['Weeping' from Darwin's 'The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals']
http://human-nature.com/darwin/emotion/chap6.htm];

In a 1976 review of ethnographic data for 60 societies, males and females were found to cry as often as each other in 32 societies (Rosenblatt, Walsh & Jackson, 1976). In 28 societies females were found to cry more frequently than males, however, in no societies were men found to cry more often than women. Gender differences in the intensity and frequency of crying were reported to be greater in countries with “individualistic” values, such as the United States, when compared to countries where “collectivistic” values are more important (Fischer & Manstead, 2000). However, researchers (Lombardo et al., 1983; Williams & Morris, 1996) report that American, British, and Israeli men and women are more likely to cry when alone and least likely to cry with people they do not know well.

In 2001, Lombardo, Crester and Roesch found that approximately 58% of the men in their study reported almost never crying. This could conceivably be explained by “expression norms”, which differentiate the gender role socialization of men and women, in terms of crying, remaining relatively unchanged over the last few decades. Whilst societal acceptance has increased, a large proportion of men still feel constrained in exhibiting expression of these tender emotions, like crying.

References

Instruction to a boy acting a woman in Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew:

'And if the boy not have a woman's gift
To rain a shower of commanded tears
An onion will do well for such a shift'

Dorset RDSU
Cornelia House Poole Hospital NHS Trust Longfleet Road Poole Dorset BH15 2JB
Email dawn.stevens@poole.nhs.uk